ILU - passcodes

Some men think women are so complicated..
we think in a way like maybe aliens do..
but do we??
hahaha
i guess just because women are from Venus and men from Mars, so we speak to each other in a different way.. different language you know..

so, I just recently continue my reading habit to a really good book, Beneath This Man..
yes, it's the second book from This Man trilogy by Jodi Ellen Malpas..
it is really great book behind 50 Shades of Grey..
okay, dont get tired of me because i keep going with my addiction to FSOG..
hahaha
in this book, Ava, the lead girl character just hanging and waiting for 3 magic words, I love you,  in herself..
she won't say it until her love, Jesse Ward said it first..
but, well, she already confessed when she was drunk..

it just makes me think, do we as women really desperate to hear that 3 words??
i know.. i know i am not that expert in this love department..
but that's what makes me think, how we, women..
we never really feel safe without those passcodes spoke by or spouse/ couple..
yeah.. maybe we hang out with them a lot, we date to each other, exclusively attach to each other..
but without "I love you.." it seems like all 'relationship' we have, just like a delusional stage of ourselves.. and maybe we keep guessing and doubting..
is it really exclusive relationship or is it just stupid exclusive lust to each other?
from my side, of course i will feel hanging on the line, if my spouse doesn't say those words..
but, in my own record, in fact..
i feel like my ex-es never said it because they meant it and me neither..

is it just me and Ava who will feel insecure if our couple doesn't say those words,
or maybe another women in this world just feel okay without those words to say??

Hopeless 21 nearly 22 girl, or lady? *giggle*

Happy new year 2014!
I Know it is sooo late for saying it..
Hahahaha..

I just wanna share, how my life turned like roller coaster in the end of 2013 and now is the beginning of 2014..
I just finished my awesome internship in Ogilvy Public Relations as intern designer and sometimes be AE intern too..
I love love my job, and all people around me in the office..
Despite all of that, i remembered my final lunch with my one of the best bosses i've ever had, Mr. W..
He treated me for lunch that day, Japanese tonkatsu.. which is worth every penny..
And we talked and talked, i already said that i consider him as my big brother, had i?
Well, and he thought me as his little sister too..what a great boss, huh?
Not just that, he also gave me his words, in future, if i need him to help with career, he would gladly help me..
I was just, mindblown that time..
Bless you, sir W!
Hahahaha
Now, i already back in reality, that i have to continue my campus life, cause i havent finished my degree yet..
And i dont know what i should feel..
From 1 side, i am really happy to be back to campus life and back to meet my closest friends..
But the other side, yes i am sad that i have to leave such a great  company and all the people in it..
The other side again, i just cant help to think about my family financial things..
Yes, it's always been there..
I couldnt help it sometimes to think if there any of my friends in my friends' circle that maybe have some thought as i have..
How to struggle..
How to keep it by myself..
How to think what can i do to earn my own money, and maybe could help my parents..
Yet, i cant figure anything..
I already applied part time job in coffee shop, but still havent heard any from them..
And, other thing.. i am such a coward..
I always imagine myself to have my own business, to start it, but..i just cant.. i am so coward.. i always think i cant handle failure if it happens, yes, it will happen i know, cause people always said, success and failure always come in one package..
I just cant wait myself to graduate and live on my own and maybe have guts to start my business soon..
Be responsible for my self as my own..

Here i am in my hometown, back to home.. yet cant feel it as my home anymore..
I am glad i can be here again..
But, slightly uncomfortable..
Hard to believe..

By the way..
Another thing i always struggled with despite money things, is love!
Hahahahaha
Yeah, i am hopeless in romance and love things..
But recently, i read all romance erotic novels..
Heyy, i am 21!i am legal for those books..
50 Shades of Grey trilogy, and now on progress Beautiful Bastard series, and sooner Tangled series..
Hahahaha
They are really damn good books, and cant wait myself for FSOG series as movies..
Back to what i wanna say..
Is love something that so easy come?
You just see someone, lust at the first sight, and two people feel hot electricty between them, cant hold it, losing themselves each other, do make love, and in the end they are together..
So fiction, i know!
I wish, finding your half just as easy as that..
But, reality is not fiction..
It's just way more complicated huh?
When all my friends in campus seems so easy to find love, and then some of them are engaged, yes they are engaged already before our graduation, i am here still struggle with what does love mean?

Last Day and DWP 2013

There are some things at some points, you realized you're REALLY DONE with them..
Either your age telling you, you are not suppossed to do that..
Or maybe experience just slap you in your whole face, then..
*ctik* just like that, you realize..
It's not right, and it doesn't make you happy, and yes, you r too old to do those stuffs again and again and again..

My internship is over now..
There are many things i get from my senior, especially William Taylor, my strategy planning director..
He is like my big brother, who taught me about life and shared some of his great advices for me..
I really love my company..
It is full of talented people, yet they are so humble, and so kind and willing to help and share to you their experiences and skills..
Always use please and thank you..
Always appreciate the journey, with the result though..
Always happy, cheerful and brighten my days..
Always make me feel i'm in my another home, yes, they will make you feel like you are family instead of just worker and co-worker..
And there are so many things that i have learned from Ogilvy Public Relations..
It was an awesomeness to have experience like this..
Worked and interacted with people like them..
Yet, there are so many lessons i can take from here..
I am really touched with them, for every compliments, and lessons they gave me..
Yes, i will continue to learn about life..
How to grow up, how to act more mature, how to stay positive, how to be a great leader without being bossy, how to see world which mostly in grey area, how to be an open minded, how to see things not only by their appearance, how to think before speak, how to be grateful, how to love me for being me, how to be a good listener, how to do what yoh love, and love what you do, how to build a a good relations with people, how to expand your connections, and most important things, how to never stop learning..
I wish them all the best things i could ever imagine, and maybe beyond it..
I LOVE THEM AS MY OTHER FAMILY :')..
See you when i see you guys..
Xoxo, Gaby

Btw, i just got home from Djakarta Warehouse Project 2013..
First and last..
Pay for 500.000IDR only to get stuck in traffic for 3more hours, and got wet by rain, and got mud all over my legs and arms, and got to line up for exchange ticket, and got pushing by sooooo many people, and got cold, and got nothing to see, cause the stage was full of people, and got almost falling many times in disgusting mud, and got to see nothing cause there were just few lamps in the street.. most important things, I couldnt find my friend anywheree..anywhere!
Fuck you, DWP 2013!

Somehow, and Some Day, I Will Learn..

So, a kinda wise guy, well my senior colleague at office, told me this noon,
DON'T BE TOO NAIVE..
yes, i got this sentence tons of time..
the thing is, i don't wanna be too naive too..
i always think i am mean and BAD person though..
but, well, in fact some people don't get it, instead they think i'm too naive..
and again i will just like "REALLY"??
hahahaha
have a very good lesson too from my senior colleague..
he said "someday, some time, you will learn, in this world, things are not just black and white.. mostly they are GRAY.. somehow too, you will find out and learn, GOOD PEOPLE do BAD THINGS, and BAD PEOPLE do GOOD THINGS.."
oh, oh..
and another thing..
he said to me, again like what my mom always said..
"When it comes to BOYS, MEN, you named it, don't be too available.. you have to play push and pull.. in simple word, play hard to get.."
LOL..
again, my mom, apparently totally RIGHT!

#YOLO

i'm kinda obsessed with beanie nowdays..

and yes.. i just bought this blue beanie..

it's color just too good to resist..

hihihi :p

and yes.. nowdays i change my softlens to brown one instead of the clear one..

i just want a little change..

and no, it's not Barbie softlens to makes my eyes look bigger..

i have big eyes for Chinese breed because i am mixing blood..

and this softlens turns out make it a LITTLE BIT bigger..

these last 2 photos taken last year when i had crazy unforgettable NYE party in Shanghai..

you can tell how i miss this!

party.. and of course my friends!

Hee Su, my Korean friend already back to Korea..

we still keep in touch..

but.. seems lately she's kinda busy..

until she's not too often online in Facebook..

i miss this togetherness..

yet, it won't be back for 2nd times..

and i dare you to bet, that if it could happened for the second times. it won't be as GREAT, as AWESOME as the first one..

many things in life are come and destined to happen for only 1 time..

the only thing you can do is just, live and love that moment at that time..

even it won't happened again and again and again, 

you still can remember it for one of the best things you could LIVE..

#YOLO

You Only Live Once :)

Contrast

Even it's started raining outside, and will be a cloudy day..
but my mood is really contrast with it..
i am not gonna bragging..
but just wanna share how happy i am and yes, i am really proud after seeing my boss..
it all started when i helped him to photocopy some documents and arrange it..
after that distributed the documents to all seniors..
then..
he gave me credit cause i did it well, fast and tidy..
hihihi..
soon after that he gave me more tasks to do..
to make the story short, i did my tasks well :)
i don't give myself compliments..
i just think i have to do it right..
and just happened, he called me to talk face to face..
and said "i'm gonna give you 3 questions.. answer it fast.."
"okay.."
"first, you like working hard??"
"Yes.." i said..
"Second, what are you gonna do? after your internship i mean.."
"Back to school.. finish my degree.. maybe in January 2015 will apply here again.. work for 1-2 years and try to get scholarship to Shanghai.. -yes, I always want to come back to Shanghai.. study for Mandarin language of course..and i really love that city! but, west countries are open to me too :p"
"Good.. and last one, you always wearing color contact lens?"
"Ehmm..yess, my minus is 8.. -confuse..it's funny he asked this-"
"I mean why have to wear color contact lens that makes your eyes look bigger?"
"Well.. i want to looked more attractive.. -in fact i have no idea why i want to wear the color one instead of clear lens that i used to use all the time.. fact too, i just wanna have different atmosphere? by changing my color lens..hahahaha-"
"You already look attractive.."
HAHAHAHAHHA..
my boss is really nice guy!! his girlfriend must be really a lucky girl!!
LOL..
the point is.. he said he wants to make me his assistant to do his job as the strategic planning director..
he said too that he sees something different from me that will make me success in future..
-okay now i have crystal eyes! tears in the edge of my eyes..hahaha :')-
and i said.. well.. my friends said i'm obsessed..
and he gave me really nice advice.. "no.. it's not obsessed.. it depends on where you looking at.. what you want to get.. you want to be success, don't you?"
"yes.. i always want to be success.. previously, before have internship in here, i always try to look after and had part time job.. i like to have my own salary.. earn money by myself.."
"that's good.. good for you.. take my words as compliment.."
"yep.. thanks, W*** .."

oh my God..
suck that my envy "friends".. -okay, i am too over say it-
i am not obsessed.. i just always want to be success more than my other friends i think..
and yes.. i WILL..
thank YOU, GOD!!!!
because of You, my boss can said these stuffs..
I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's ironic cause 3 days before today, i felt sad at late night..
and got hard to sleep until 3am..
cause i think i am not happy with my life..
i think, and i feel i always got rejected..
but today, HE shows me the opposite..
that i have something..
huhuhuhuhu :')
my GOD IS AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
hihihi..

btw too..
today i try to less my meal portion..
why??
because, yes i am still fat..
and my friends now all on diet..
they gym and diet though!
crazy..
i don't wanna look the fattest one, while all my friends are already become skinnier..
hahahaha..
yeah, girls :p

Turn My Whole Upside Down

color wheel of perfect gelato at Table 8 Hotel Mulia for client's event..

love in a plate of Haagen Dazs!

super cute brooch!

thank you, mom!! love you to the moon and back :*

grilled salmon, mashed potato, coleslaw and sauted mushrooms by Marche :p

our new General Manager, mas Aries Nugroho!!

thank you so much for huge treat in Marche :D

fast breakfast at office lately..

camwhore-ing at IIMS 2013 for client's event!!

i know i am FAT FAT FAT FAT!!! :'(

extra work at weekend with Sushi Tei :/

thank you my super best friend, Vincent Bule!!

i hope the chocodate more than two by the way :p

lately dinner for my "monthly guest"

another camwhore-ing at IIMS 2013 for client's event..

new varsity jacket!!!!!

hihihihi ><

so what's going on with my life lately is..

i really enjoy working in my company where i have my internship now..

they have great clients with great events, and mostly always ended with free really luxurious delicious foods!

that's why i guess i cant lose my weight..

instead of losing my weight, i gain my weight like crazy!!

especially after my mom was coming..

everyday eat, eat and eat..

she always forbid me to eat..

but how am i supposed to do when all great free foods are in front of your eyes???

okay, i cant control my desire to eat..

my bad!

hahahaha