Yeah i know it's been a long time since my last post..

but who cares??

there's no one who will read this except myself..

It's started as a good day..

had class like usually until at night had a discussion with a best friend about internship..

no, it's not just internship case..

no, it's not just one of the requirements that you need to graduate pursuing your degree..

but it's MORE THAN THAT!

this fucking thing already drive me crazy for past months..

yeah, i know that i sound like stupid idiot girl..

and of course unfaithful one..

it costs more than powers, stresses, and tears..

maybe my mental as the designer one completely not formed..

i know, i am lack of confidence and cheesy mental..

i was just like something tiny that try to fight the stream, HUGE STREAM..

how you're not getting stress knowing that you're not good enough for the big city, capital city.

knowing that there are more RIVALS than a chance to getting in..

mostly, knowing that no one really push you, well except your mom and God who always will beside you..

that even your friend,

that you always push and encourage didn't give you more than "some words that suit for throwing you down the hills"

yes, they dont mean that..

but how you expect them to encourage you as you did the same too is not coming..

she said, i still need to find my true identity..

while, Carrie Bradshaw and mostly half of world's population said, "it takes whole life to find your true identity"

and graahhhhh i dont know why i have to feel so annoying know that my friends won't react as the same as i hope..