Because Pain is A Drug??

Why people keep getting into relationship after relationship after relationship??

When you break up with your partner, don't you feel it hurts you so much and you hope the pain doesn't really happen??

Maybe getting in a relationship is like getting a tattoo..

People said yes it hurts, like a lot, well because getting a tattoo means you make some artsy scar on your skin, but again, it's addictive..

Maybe getting in a relationship again is like getting pregnant..

It hurts like shit, you get your vagina being cut, but some people said they wanna keep getting pregnant. Again, it's addictive..

But if it -getting a tattoo, pregnant, relationship- hurts, why at the same time it's so addictive??

Doesn't that mean people are crazy cause they like, well like Rihanna said, like the way it hurts??

Why are people getting in a relationship, even they already know, that person might hurt you, intentionally or not intentionally??

Too many questions running through my head this day..
Either is it because my period makes my hormones jump like crazy so I keep asking a silly question, or because I'm keep being my bestie's relationship witness??

Taboo Talk??

Just today, me and my 2 close girls hang out together on a fast food resto..
Ordered a french fries with some milk tea that we bought earlier..
And before I started my story, I think, I'd like to say, women are men with vaginas..
As Carrie Bradshaw said in Sex and The City series, I forgot which episode, she said, Men are women with penis, or otherwise?
Why I'd like to say that statement??
Because asides from all our differences, men and women on conversation's topics mostly are 3 things, if it's not about their opposite sex, hobbies, or sex..
When men hang out together, they will talk mostly about their jobs, women, automotives/ sports, and SEX..
When women hang out together, they will talk mostly about their jobs, men, hot and latest gossips, and SEX too..
Who said when it comes to sex women are so shy to talk about it??
Women don't talk about that as much as men did, it's bullshit..
Maybe if you lived in the age of Kartini, sex is still a taboo to be talked, well at least in Indonesia, my country..
But, I think nowdays, as ages change, and generations change too, sex is not a taboo thing to be discussed, or even to do..
So, back to my topic.. me and my 2 friends, in our early 20s, we are really curious about sex..
Not only because we are a virgin, but I think as the early ladies to be, the hormones about sex just act crazy..
In Indonesia, some women still prefer to save their virginity to their husband to-be even some women already did it before marriage..
So while we still never did that, we prefer to talk about that..
There's nothing wrong with talking about sex and sharing your sex imaginations to your trusty friends, right??
Earlier before I talk about sex with these 2 friends of mine, I had a psychology test with a friend with psychology major.. And the result was.. I had tons of wild sex imaginations.. HAHAHAHA
Again, he ended with, "that's normal.. In your ages, you will think about sex that much.."
And indeed I am agree with him!
But why, while we knows that men are not so different with women about sex talk, it's still taboo for some women in 20s, especially in Indonesia, to talk about it??

Politic Talking, Indonesia President Election 2014

Hi, guys..
during the holiday time I spent my entire days with some of ideas and activities that yeah, i can called it productive..
Recently I help my ex-office senior in redesign her cafe's menu and brochures..
the other things are I bought BBG from Kayla Itsines..
yes, it costs me AUD 69, but since I split the bill with 5 friends, it costs not that expensive though..
I try to have a healthy lifestyle, well, the truth is I try into having a thigh gap..
others are me and 2 friends into a discussion to open small business, and with other 1 friend I try to create a food blog.. Since we are quite best friend, and she is good at food photography..
oh, oh the other thing, still have test shoot with my awesome team, Tiara as the model, Ariokh as the stylist, Haqi as the photographer, and guest member as the model is Anthony..
will post the result later after Haqi retouch the photo..

Okay, next thing I will discuss is like not so me..
well, important thing I want to discuss in my post is my country, Indonesia is so busy with president election, that will be held in July 9th 2014..
the candidates are:
#1 Prabowo-Hatta
#2 Jokowi-JK
before the election, debate as the president and vice president candidates already held..
every week, on Sunday me, well my mom asks me to watch it because it increases your public knowledge, will watch it..
however I missed the versus between the president candidates but..
this Sunday I just watched the debate between Hatta and JK as the representatives from each group as the vice president candidates..
It was on!!
I really impressed with mr JK, he is a smart guy you know..
he answered every answer really well..
on the other side, I'm really not impressed with Hatta..
because, yeah, besides we all know his scandal when he covered the accident caused by his son that took many people's into death..
the other thing, he has a corruption scandal due to many reliable sources..
the other reliable media in Indonesia said that he is a cunning guy..
he always has a way to avoid cases that maybe could caused him as the bad guy and ended in jail..

I'm not saying this because I'm not into him..
but..
according to many reliable media sources such as national newspaper, and according to what I've watched during the debate too..
So, in the 2nd or 3rd round, each candidate could ask a question to one another and it would be answered by one another..

JK asked Hatta "When you were one of the minister during -I forget in what year- could you explain why we still had to import rice from the other country while you said, we, Indonesia, already invent alpha seeds that could supply rice for our own people?"
and you know what Hatta answered?? 
"We supply it for expats in Indonesia.."
mind you, mr Hatta, but.. could I ask you openly
the expats we talked in here mostly is bule, western people okay??
how many expats in Indonesia that we have to supply????? in Indonesia we have that oh so many expats??????
and second one, and the most important, the expats really LOVE to eat rice huh?? so that our rice stocks are not enough???
like really????? DUDE come on!!

I'm not a genius in politic, but I know it's a huge fat lie..
I never so concerned about president election like before..
but, I learn, it's for my country's fate for the next 5 years..
as the minority, well Chinese decent- in Indonesia, we need someone like Alm. Gusdur..
who could understand and accept us like the majority..
I think and I'm pretty sure feel Jokowi-JK is the best choice..
I'm not getting paid for saying this.. but, that's the truth..
Jokowi according to Fortune magazine, is in 1 of the 50 world's top leader list..
many people mock him as the tacky, countrified leader..
mind you people, international admits that he is a good, for me great, leader..
who needs the leader based on the appearance only??
I dont need that, most people wont need that too..
all we need is the leader who has a great quality as the leader, and Jokowi has it!
other people will mock him too because his duty as the Jakarta governor hasn't finished yet..
hey, he becomes on of the president candidate because his party leader, Mrs. Megawati asks him to do that..
why Megawati asks him to do that, because many Indonesians believe he has the right quality as the leader of our nation..
many Indonesians ask Megawati to push him as one of the president candidates..
Megawati said, "You people -Indonesians- ask this tiny man, Jokowi, to become your president.. Here I gave you, choose him because you already asked for him.."

End of my politic post..
Sorry it's maybe boring..
Vote for your country's fate please, Indonesians!!!!
Stop being so ignorant when you have power to decide your country's fate..
And if you choose for being an ignorant, don't say any words if your country's fate is going worse..

I Did It For A Thigh Gap

Apparently, asking for a thigh gap needs more efforts than i thought..

Hahahahaha

Gudlor, God knows how bad I want a thigh gap..

So if I wear skinny jeans it will look good..

I don't ask for a bombshell body like Victoria's Secret Angels, I just ask for a thigh gap..

And wish me luck, during holiday, I can have it..

so, me and some friends who already graduated, no I ain't graduated yet, are preparing for our 2010-2014 class' prom..

and we decided to buy Bikini Body Workout by Kayla Itsines..

it costs AUD 69..

yes, kinda expensive.. but since all six of us split the bill, it's not that expensive but still costs quite much money in my monthly rate.. hahahaha

day 1 and day 2, thank God I did them!!

day 1 I practice what I read from the book, and day 2 get some LISS by walking around neighborhood at 6am..

yesterday, when I just got started, in the first 7 minutes of circuit 1, I almost lose my breath..

judge me, but workout is not my specialty..

I sweat like crazy.. if people said sweat is fat crying, then my fat is sobbing uncontrollably yesterday..

LOL..

True story this morning, I kinda want to go back to sleep when my alarm hit 6am..

but, Eric Thomas' voice was like echoing in my head..

'You just kinda want it, but how if you want it as bad as you want to breath, then you will be successful.. Some of you said, you want to get some sleep, then you want to sleep more than what you want.. Sleeping is only for beggars'

And I was just like, OKAY, ERIC!! I GET UP NOW!!! GEEZ!!!

hahahaha..

yes, and now, my butt and my thigh especially feel really HURT like shit!!

hahahahah

but I'm kinda happy, yet can't stand for it ==!..

Top 5 Songs In My Current Playlist

1. Not A Bad Thing - Justin Timberlake

Instant major LOVE!!!

2. Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding

love the beat, love the lyrics, love everything with Ellie Goulding..

I must watch Divergent..

the main guy character got my heart with his perfect handsome look..

3. Hold On We're Going Home - ASTR (cover)

Sooo good!! Eargasm.. 

4. Love Never Felt So Good - Michael Jackson ft Justin Timberlake

Remake, and LOVE this one too..

5. Problem - Ariana Grande ft Iggy Azalea

What a perfect combo to upbeat song from Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea

I like Iggy's rap, beibiii..

7 Reasons Why Justin Timberlake Is A Drop Panties Guy

1. He suit up properly!
I don't know you girls, but for me, Man in proper black suit will always be my kryptonite..
okay, not all men in this world maybe can make it as JT does..
but, for me, I love man who can dress tidy and formal.. and also, men in suit presents masculinity..
the black tie, black suit, golden tie clip, cufflinks, and the shirt behind that nice -expensive- suit just.. oh God!!! I literally do mouth watering!

2. He has that sexy back, and also sexy moves
Since he is the member of Nsync, he is the best dancer among the other members IMO.
and in his 33, he still has that moves, ladies!!
In Mirror and TKO MVs, are the best dance performs of him lately..
no, not just in those 2 MVs, but in every MVs!!!!!

3. He has sexy voice
No need to explain if you already hear his songs..
If you haven't heard any of his song, SHAME ON YOU!!
Where did you live after all this time?? 
You should get your ass in front of your laptop, open Youtube, 
and search Justin Timberlake in the search box, like NOW!!!!
but, I doubt you haven't heard any of his song..
either you are lying, you are stupid hipsters, or you live in other galaxy..

4. Another nice sideburns and subtle beard
Again, only JT can put this look become oh so sexy!!
His sideburns are just so manly in his masculine jaws..
And the subtle beard?? I rarely love man in beard or moustache because mostly it will look dirty and horrible.
But as long as a guy can nailed subtle beard like the way JT did, he is 100% guaranteed can have me in the first place..
hahahaha

5. He has that ONE MILLION WATT smile
Yes!! I LOVE the way his smile.. 
In one same time, you can look his sexy badass side, and.. the nice next door guy.
So, while you introduce him to your big family, they will give you approved seal..
and after you back home with him, you can have that wild sexy badass god!!
what a lucky Biel!!!!

6. He loves his mother
In many occasions, and including red carpet, you will see he came with his mom..
held her hands, and took photos together..
They have strong bond I guess..
and his mother is known as one of his biggest fans..
Recently, Justin Timberlake gave his mama a shout-out, too, tweeting, "#HappyMothersDay to Janet Lynn... You're the greatest leader and I'm so proud to be your son. I love you so much, Momma!! J" 
what a sweet guy!!

7. He has GREAT music team
JT now known always had a performance with GREAT music team, Tennessee Kids..
whether in shows, MV, and concert, Tennessee Kids always with him and together they really nailed every performance!
Tennessee Kids also dress very well, in black suits.. perfect team with JT as the front man!

Nobody Realizes That Some People Expend TREMENDOUS ENERGY Merely To Be NORMAL

Some people said, every girls were the same..
there was no difference amongst them..
Some people said, there was bullshit if a girl said, 'I'm not like the other girls..'
while the other said, yes, 'This girl is one of a kind, she is different'
Me??
I said, girls are same at some points, but yes.. we of course are different..
maybe guys will say, girls are same.. they demand a lot of attention, wanna treated like a princess, and bla bla bla bla..
but, no.. we are different!
at least, I am different or, a very minimum quantity girls in this planet are like me too..
I am totally different..
same genus with girls, but from another species, another planet, another galaxy I guess..
why??
while the other girls are so easy to open their heart even after 2 years relationship with their ex, I find myself is so goddamn difficult to give a guy to step in a little bit in my life..
while the other girls are so easy peasy find relationship and get deeper into it, I find myself is really difficult to have one..
while other girls are so damn good in playing hide and seek with guys, I find myself just can't hide, okay.. I'm emotionally slutty..
while the other girls are so easy to curb their energic personality in front of opposite sex in the first date, I find myself very casually and usually act like complete random moron, just like myself in front of my besties..
my biggest problem -or not problem, I guess- is.. I reveal my-complete random and moron-self too soon..
in what minute you ask?? in 1 second after I meet that guy in first date.
I act so random.. talking nothing important? -well, it was first date!!-
and.. there was nothing mysterious about me..
any people can know me as the bubbly, loud, chirpy, happy personality..

my friends always suggest me to take myself slowly.. be mysterious.. be quiet.. be shy.. be like a TRULY GIRL -I am truly girl though, you know-
She suggested me not to reveal my happy loud personality..
God knows, I was trying..
like.. really trying.. so hard.. so bad..
and it was end up for me as the boring very normal girl..
as Bryanboy posted in Instagram "Nobody realizes that some people expend TREMENDOUS ENERGY merely to be NORMAL."
hell, yes!!
I spend tremendous energy and emotions during the whole time in the first date..
Acted like quiet, shy girl, like what my girl friend suggested..
I did that.. and it was really awkward..
maybe some people will agree with her..
but for me, who already tried it and was so not me, I WILL COMPLETELY REFUSE THAT ADVICE NEXT TIME..
maybe some people will say too, silence is ok..
for me, IT WAS SO NOT OKAY.. it was so so so AWKWARD..
imagine my conversation in the car when that guy picked me up..
G (Guy) : Hey, nice to meet you :)
M (Me) : Nice to meet you too..
G: What you doin before I come??
M: Cleaning my apartment, and taking long shower :).. you??
G: What a diligent girl.. hehe.. Me?? just get home from my busy routine, and relax, play video game..
M: Oh, okay.. (try to be quiet, shy, normal, very feminine girl).. er.. what kind of video game??
G: You know, GTA, and Fast and Furious..
M: (in my mind => "WOW!! I know GTA! sometimes I played it with my older brother when we were younger.. how is that game now?? getting better?? and FF?? I watch the movie, but not play the game.. Maybe I will try to play it next time.. Hey, if you want to play, I can join you, if I may..")
BUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
my friend suggested me to curb my enthusiasm and be quiet and shy, normal girl, who MAYBE, MOSTLY not interested in guys' video game activity, so there was me.. sat quietly and NODDED okay..
what the heck.. it was stupid awkward silence..
okay, maybe I shouldn't add the last sentence that ask if I can join him playing video game..
I am very conscious, that girl needs to play a little bit hard to get..
but it is really different between play hard to get and being someone who is really not yourself, dont you think??
while the other means, try not to be too available and show your interest much in a guy, and maybe..chasing him like some crazy desperate cheesy bitch, BUT STILL BE YOUR COMPLETE SELF..
the other means don't show any interest, don't show your true identity, don't act like you usually behave in front of your very besties, show him that you are mysterious, let him take in charge of everything, from find a topic until.. everything??

then, I got some revelations..
from http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2013/08/guys-only-want-the-shy-pretty-girls/
It's written by Chelsea Fagan..
oh, I love her so much..
her writing give me some light..
that it is okay to be your loud funny crazy -in a good way- self..
if many guys who were of course not your SO in future, they of course wont accept you for being your loud funny crazy -in a good way- self..
but, one day, in the end..
you will find someone who knows you for the real you and still find you attractive with those kind of personality..
even more, they will love you more and more because of those..

PS: my other favorite writers in Thought Catalog is Christopher Hudspeth and Zaron Burnett III :)