Its been a long time since my last post.
Im writing here only to get evrything out of my chest.
I miss you, so much, every single day.
Yes im not cry myself to sleep every other night anymore.
But i still cry for this loss.
And pang of sadness i still feel.
Last Sunday morning I was crying still for you, for what we gad
And for evrything we did together.
I dont wanna text u anymore, cause well, my message is not welcomed anymore, judging from last time you only replied me with "I dont know"
Or maybe you already move on that fast from this failed relationship,
Or worse, you have somebody that you wanna make happy, and sadly thats not me anymore.

I still remember your beautiful hazel eyes, yes they r still beautiful for me.
I still remember your lean arms.
I still remember evry night we spent together and evry moment I wakeup and u were there.
Gosh, its so cliche.
But damn, tell me how am I supposed to live now?
If its not my career that kept me going, im pretty sure im gonna be that crazy ex girlfriend who will chase you to the end of the world.

Yes, im the one who ask for breakup,
But dont u think what u did those last weeks only to trigger me to say breakup?
Now im crying again, in the middle of the night cause its still damn hurt.
Gosh, what am I supposed to do now, G?? Whatt??
We havent seen each other for months, we broke up over a text, u also wouldnt bother to call to resolve things.
God, I just need some clear closure over this, but u never asked.
Am I supposed to be the one who ask for some closure again?
Nowdays the only pray I whispered to God, is to take this pain away.
How sometimes I also wished we never ever ever know each other, and u wont have this power to hurt my fucking mind.

Jess Glynne ft Emilie Sande - Saddest Vanilla

You're giving me right, you're giving me wrong

You're selling me something that I'll never own

You're giving me hope, you're leaving me cold

You're telling me nothing, I don't already know

You told me gamble, and told me we'd win

So I took all I had, and I put in to win

My heart is here freezing, as my tears fill my bowl

And I'm finally tasting alone

This is the saddest vanilla that I've ever tasted

The saddest vanilla and I don't wanna waste it

Sat at an ice cream parlour

You went and broke my heart yeah

Now I'm the saddest vanilla

You're giving me light, you're giving me dark

You told me the ending, right at the start

You're giving me something I shouldn't get used to

You're giving me blackout, you're giving me see-through

You tease me with heaven, you're giving me hell

You started running the moment I fell

My heart is here freezing

As my tears fill the bowl

And I'm finally tasting alone

This is the saddest vanilla that I've ever tasted

The saddest vanilla but I don't wanna waste it

Sat at an ice cream parlour

You went and broke my heart, yeah

Now I'm the saddest vanilla

Silly me, Silly we

I thought you could be gentle

Wrap it down, 'round and 'round

You're fucking with my mental

I used to love the taste of it

Until you went and poisoned it

And now

This is the saddest vanilla that I've ever tasted

The saddest vanilla but I don't wanna waste it

Sat at an ice cream parlour

You went and broke my heart yeah

Now I'm the saddest vanilla

Saddest vanilla

This is the saddest vanilla that I've ever tasted

The saddest vanilla but I don't wanna waste it

Sat at an ice cream parlour

You went and broke my heart yeah

Now I'm the saddest vanilla

.

.

.

Once you said "I'll try to be quiet, you just lie there and bobo"

But damn, I hate sleeping time now..

People will judge you anyway..
Yes.
And you of course will always judge people.
The only thing I hate the most is being judged as materialistic girl.
Just because my love towards good (and damn expensive) shits.
I mean, cmon. I am a girl who grow up looking at Elle, Bazaar and other fashion magazines.
I still cannot buy those shits though, eventhough im on my way to work for it..
I bust my ass work for something that some people said "temporary" or "useless".
Every people has their own opinion, and their own love for things..
Some might love spending money for culinary experiences, some might love spending it by getting drunk from black label, while some might like spending it on luxury branded goodies..
But why, just because you love branded stuffs people will label u as materialistic??
How about those people who loves travelling abroad, or loves fancy dining/cafeing??
Do you still call them materialistic as well..
From what I see on the internet for what materialistic means, the outcome is never a good thing..
Its like portraying yourself as one dumb bitch who doesnt care about anything other than expensive looks with expensive shits.
When in fact, you just love and appreciate good stuffs more than common people.
People said whats the use of those stuffs?? You just wanna brag to other people that you can afford those stuffs??
The answer from me is NO..
Like makeup i put on almost every single day.
I makeup for myself.
It makes me feel great, more.
I do it, just because I love it, and I want to impress only me and myself.
Why? I cannot feel good about myself??
Does it make me look like still I wanna impress other people??
Whats so wrong about wanting to look best of you and make yourself happy without doing any harms to other people?
But, do you know that you can feed maybe 1 small community with the price of 1 Prada bag??
Well, for me,  I still wanna good to people, and do charity for sure.
But Im not as noble as those who said that to my face.
And Im sure, when I can buy my ownself those expensive shits, that means I also more than enough to do charity and feed more than 1 small communities.
Life is weird (and stress) enough, its so much better when people mind their own business..
Its okay to judge, but you dont have to give comments, when nobody asks for it.
Judge all the way you want, just keep it in your pants.

Like Doesn't Mean You Love

I believe it's been a long time since I post anything in here.
Good news are I graduated my degree already! YAY!!
and I already have a job!! another YAY!!
My job now as a content writer in the new travelling e-commerce company..
Even my writing portion as not as much as my senior here, but I'm feeling kinda happy..
I do what I love, which is writing, and get paid.
Even the salary is not that high. But hey, I'm design graduate and not a wordsmith..
Kinda happy too because my working environment is a healthy one.
I have many role models here.
As all my senior writers are seriously great in English and in their writing.
No kidding, all of them were study abroad.
Hahahaha
Aside from my lack of confidence in office, sometimes I really don't know what I love..
I love too many things you know.
Then one day I watch some TV program when this man, a famous author of "Your Job Is Not Your Career" showed up.
And he simply told us how to know that one thing is your passion and the other is just a hobby..
I thought all this time I always know the difference.
Apparently, not.
Yes, passion is something you do, even you don't get paid.
But, the difference is like this, it is your hobby if you do it in you spare time, and when you get a little bit boring with your passion. It's just basically like a refreshment.
When your hobby facing challenge, you nope out of there and just go away.
While your passion is something you love to do, and when you find difficulties, instead of going away, you face those obstacles, and keep moving on. In the end, you got rewarded by better skill.
There I have it.
For now, I'm pretty sure writing is my passion.
Because, believe me, there are many things in my head running all around in daily basis.
I'm curious about many things in this world.
Silly I know.. But this is me.
I feel if I can't express those questions, I better just write it down.
Write them all down make me happy.. Make me feel better.

Oh, and because now I'm working in a field that is a little bit different with my education background, now if I met new people and told them my degree, they will question me same thing, like "Oh, you are design graduate, so you're working in design agency? Oh no? Why?"
The question from me -in my head and my mind- would be WHY NOT?
There is nothing wrong to work in a different field from your degree.
As long as you love it, doing no harm to other people and you can pay the bills right?
I like design, I really do. But as much as I like it, I don't love it. 
Not like writing. I love words, learning new phrases, new words, and even I love thesaurus. 
Don't get me wrong, but learning new vocab every single day is fun for me.
Another thing I love is communicating and presenting ideas to people.
That's why I'm thinking having a master scholarship in communication or PR major.
Why not design?? Again, I don't love it, and master in design for what job actually??
I dont have any visions to become a design lecturer in future.
And really I dont have any visions to work in design field..
But my life still related to design btw, as I'm working as a freelance designer.
Freelance, not main job.
Nice income.
My life is pretty good now, as I have my passion as my main job, and my hobby as my side job.
Best of both world.
So, people, if you want to work in bank after you graduate from your design school, do it!
If you want to work in fashion world after you graduate from law school, just fucking do it!
Nothing worse if you have to work in something you don't love, simply just because your degree doesn't related.
Could you imagine yourself stuck behind those piles of work and you just kinda like it??
It's gonna be a joke, IMHO.
So, yeah, find something you love, you passionate, find the way to apply on that, and enjoy your job -even sometimes you dislike it, it's life after all- !

3.35 am and i am thinking i should write a book based on my curiosity about world..
such as sex, clubbing, gay club, sugar daddy sugar baby stuffs, money, friends. until politics maybe, and i don't know what else..
hahahahha
there are so many stuffs always running through my head in daily basis.
i guess i always asking too many questions..
unimportant questions i know..
but, doing some research and jump into the field to experience by myself are something exciting for me..
yeah, i think i should start typing it by tomorrow..
well, if i still have desire to do it..

Why Indonesia Can't Moving Forward

As I sit here and read news in the internet about Jakarta..
Jakarta is the capital city of Indonesia..
Indonesia, of course is a country that has the biggest amount of Moslems..
But, as we all know, Indonesia is a country that respects and professes other religions too..
As my mind wander years ago when i was a kid, mostly Indonesian people couldn't respect on 2 things, religion and race..
When i was around 7 years old, i still remember many Chinese and Christians be colonized and chased by the local Indonesians..
It was in the 1990s..
And here we are in 2000 century, some of that idiot, close-minded, smarty pants people are still exist..
On the news that I read, 1 organization, FPI, Islamic protesters..
They furiously rejected Ahok as the new governor of Jakarta..
Because on 1, well maybe 2 reasons..
1. Because Ahok is a chinese descent..
2. Because Ahok is not a moslem..
WHAT THE FUCK, yes I know.. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!
Why a Chinese descent cant be a governor of the capital city??
There is no law in Indonesia forbids that..
And second, why furiously rejected him because of his religion..
Again, no Indonesian law forbids that..
When we look back again, hundred years ago, based on Indonesian history itself,
you can look, there are no any notes in history saying Chinese come to Indonesia and try to take over this country..
But, you can look in the history, since years ago which country try to rule Indonesia?? which country??
England, Portuguese, Netherlands, Japan, Spain.. but not CHINA!!!
What the shit!!!!!!!
Here is Ahok, just a Chinese descent.. He is not a CHINESE.. He is Indo-Chinese.. He is Indonesian citizen..
And furthermore if you can look at the news they said Ahok is the enemy of Islam..
What did he do so he can be labelled as an enemy???
He did so many good things rather than "same Moslem" did to this country..
Oh, yeah.. Many corruptors in this country are Moslem..
And, NO, I don't accuse Moslems are corruptors' religion..
I believe many open-minded, and educated Moslems are ashamed of this organization called FPI too..
They always said what they did for this years are for the goodness of Moslems..
Yet here they are, doing some anarchy, and violence, and chaos..
FPI was trying to make their own constitutional and try to inaugurate their own version of Jakarta governor..
What a shame.. They protest something useless, as it's not going to be approved by Indonesian law..
If they try to make their own constitutional, why they don't take their asses out of Indonesia..
Maybe some people of FPI, not some, but ALL, can be deported to the end of the world and just let them do all the stupidity of their own, and maybe just DIE..
Another thing that this bunch of idiots trying to do was, protest for the price of the fuel..
Indonesia for many years was crazy..
Because Indonesia is the one and only country that known for their generosity providing the allowance in fuel field..
I think some Indonesians are spoil brats who can't think smarter and wont stand on both of their feet..
They protest on the reasonable price of the fuel, but they still wont protest if the cigars' price is rising..
So, yeah.. mostly people in my country sometimes are pain in the ass..
But talking about FPI,.. emm they ALWAYS be a FUCKING PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS!!

Indonesia, in my opinion, can't or maybe can but really hard, to moving forward if the governments can't solved this FPI as the problem of the country..
They did so many chaos and inappropriate demonstrations..
They break the law of Pancasila and Indonesian's law itself..
Still here they are, they still exist in Indonesia..
Why government cant take some serious actions towards this people???
Do something!!!
But, yeah, again, governments in Indonesia are mostly a bunch of rats who are afraid to do justice and only care for their own business, such as corruption.. As many amount of money as you can, just take..

I do love my country, but when I see something like this.. I feel ashamed of it..
Other people outside Indonesia just know Indonesia for 2 things..
1. Bali..
2. Terrorist..
So, yeah..
If we wanna see something change in Indonesia, I suggest Indonesian people do some serious actions towards the governments to eliminate FPI and please, don't be racist anymore to the minority lahh..

Mom...

Somehow, when you trying make your own path, 

but on the other hand you are looking still for your parents' agreements, well mother's agreement for specifically..

Somehow too, from what you told her, she already knows what's best for you..

Just a tiny bit story, and she already knows the point of you telling the story..

Looking for agreement..

Then, out of nowhere, she spilled it out..

I Do What I Hate to Do

As I'm sitting here in my room and in half sleep, half asleep state..
I do realize how I hate design logo so much! By so much I mean like really really much..
I don't know how every designer in this world could make that oh so nice yet meaningful logo.,
MAJOR RESPECT!!
And now I hate myself because I complain about this homework that has to be done with 50 logos by Monday. Well it hasnt to be 50, but minimum 30.. And my friends said they are going to make 50..
Thanks because I am a Taurus, with very competitive nature, I wont settle for 30..
Maybe not going outrageously with 50 but at least 45??
And, again., I hate myself for maybe settling in 45..
My brain kinda explode in silent mode, okay I dont know how to explain how does it feel..
But, it really happened..
When we do something we don't love, it is like this..

She Gets What She Wants, BECAUSE She Works For It

First, nothing I hate more than a pretty well-dressed women who is getting misjudged for being a stupid and spoil rotten princess one..

Why accuse her for being stupid just because she is pretty and well-dressed??

This is the century when women can be pretty, well-dressed, nice/kind hearted AND also smart!!

I was being misjudged for one time when I was an intern in a suck place.. sorry not to sorry..

I'm holding no grudge for this place where I was an intern.. but really it sucks..

The boss of this work place said that she never thought I will get along in her company, remember her work place is all about forest and nature one..

Just because every time I came to work there with my -very natural minimal- makeup on, doesn't mean I couldn't stand working in a forest..

Okay, it was not a forest. more like nature national park..

'Nuff with my story..

But really, why woman can't be pretty and smart??

Nowdays there are many super models who are not only they're pretty and popular but also down to earth, and really smart..

I'm not talking smart like graduated from very prestigious university, but the real smart one..

And what the heck with the stupid theory misjudged number 2, pretty women can't work their asses off and always, again, want to get eveything they want just by playing their lashes..

Well, some pretty women MIGHT doing that..

But, some pretty women are not doing it..

First, pardon me to say this.. I'm pretty enough, and no I'm not a narcissistic by saying I'm pretty enough. I know I'm not that miss beauty pageant pretty kind, but at least some people, older women who are totally stranger, and bumped on me in the street saying I'm pretty :p

So.. back to what I wanna say..

yes, pretty girl like me, HAHAHAHA, works her ass off to earn money by and for herself..

My mom always teach me, if you wanna buy something that you want such as clothes, shoes, makeups, or other fun shits for yourself, WORK FOR IT..

Earn some money and buy it..

I was born from a middle class family..

Sometimes, my mom still buy me my clothes, shoes, makeups, or anything I want of course..

But she gives me limits..

She's not going to spoil me by buying all those expensive shits I want, like ever!

I remember, when I was in a senior high school, I was falling in love with this gorgeous black pump shoes.. It costed IDR 900.000,- back then.. And for high schooler like me, of course it was like cost me quite a fortune..

I wanted them so badly, and I was begging her to buy me..

And my mom said, "That price for shoes is not cheap for girl in your age.. If you really want it, work for it.."

My mom told me to work for buying that shoes, because from my early age as senior high student, I already worked in a wedding organizer, owned by my uncle..
and even i dont have any jobs, at least all i can do was saving money for those shoes..

Even it's owned by my uncle, I get paid with the same amount like his real employees..

Long story short, I got that my very first pump shoes!!

And not only that shoes I was getting, but I get my very first lesson too from my #MOMBOSS

"You want it?? Work for it"

She is my very, again, first #GIRLBOSS

Because Pain is A Drug??

Why people keep getting into relationship after relationship after relationship??

When you break up with your partner, don't you feel it hurts you so much and you hope the pain doesn't really happen??

Maybe getting in a relationship is like getting a tattoo..

People said yes it hurts, like a lot, well because getting a tattoo means you make some artsy scar on your skin, but again, it's addictive..

Maybe getting in a relationship again is like getting pregnant..

It hurts like shit, you get your vagina being cut, but some people said they wanna keep getting pregnant. Again, it's addictive..

But if it -getting a tattoo, pregnant, relationship- hurts, why at the same time it's so addictive??

Doesn't that mean people are crazy cause they like, well like Rihanna said, like the way it hurts??

Why are people getting in a relationship, even they already know, that person might hurt you, intentionally or not intentionally??

Too many questions running through my head this day..
Either is it because my period makes my hormones jump like crazy so I keep asking a silly question, or because I'm keep being my bestie's relationship witness??

Taboo Talk??

Just today, me and my 2 close girls hang out together on a fast food resto..
Ordered a french fries with some milk tea that we bought earlier..
And before I started my story, I think, I'd like to say, women are men with vaginas..
As Carrie Bradshaw said in Sex and The City series, I forgot which episode, she said, Men are women with penis, or otherwise?
Why I'd like to say that statement??
Because asides from all our differences, men and women on conversation's topics mostly are 3 things, if it's not about their opposite sex, hobbies, or sex..
When men hang out together, they will talk mostly about their jobs, women, automotives/ sports, and SEX..
When women hang out together, they will talk mostly about their jobs, men, hot and latest gossips, and SEX too..
Who said when it comes to sex women are so shy to talk about it??
Women don't talk about that as much as men did, it's bullshit..
Maybe if you lived in the age of Kartini, sex is still a taboo to be talked, well at least in Indonesia, my country..
But, I think nowdays, as ages change, and generations change too, sex is not a taboo thing to be discussed, or even to do..
So, back to my topic.. me and my 2 friends, in our early 20s, we are really curious about sex..
Not only because we are a virgin, but I think as the early ladies to be, the hormones about sex just act crazy..
In Indonesia, some women still prefer to save their virginity to their husband to-be even some women already did it before marriage..
So while we still never did that, we prefer to talk about that..
There's nothing wrong with talking about sex and sharing your sex imaginations to your trusty friends, right??
Earlier before I talk about sex with these 2 friends of mine, I had a psychology test with a friend with psychology major.. And the result was.. I had tons of wild sex imaginations.. HAHAHAHA
Again, he ended with, "that's normal.. In your ages, you will think about sex that much.."
And indeed I am agree with him!
But why, while we knows that men are not so different with women about sex talk, it's still taboo for some women in 20s, especially in Indonesia, to talk about it??

Politic Talking, Indonesia President Election 2014

Hi, guys..
during the holiday time I spent my entire days with some of ideas and activities that yeah, i can called it productive..
Recently I help my ex-office senior in redesign her cafe's menu and brochures..
the other things are I bought BBG from Kayla Itsines..
yes, it costs me AUD 69, but since I split the bill with 5 friends, it costs not that expensive though..
I try to have a healthy lifestyle, well, the truth is I try into having a thigh gap..
others are me and 2 friends into a discussion to open small business, and with other 1 friend I try to create a food blog.. Since we are quite best friend, and she is good at food photography..
oh, oh the other thing, still have test shoot with my awesome team, Tiara as the model, Ariokh as the stylist, Haqi as the photographer, and guest member as the model is Anthony..
will post the result later after Haqi retouch the photo..

Okay, next thing I will discuss is like not so me..
well, important thing I want to discuss in my post is my country, Indonesia is so busy with president election, that will be held in July 9th 2014..
the candidates are:
#1 Prabowo-Hatta
#2 Jokowi-JK
before the election, debate as the president and vice president candidates already held..
every week, on Sunday me, well my mom asks me to watch it because it increases your public knowledge, will watch it..
however I missed the versus between the president candidates but..
this Sunday I just watched the debate between Hatta and JK as the representatives from each group as the vice president candidates..
It was on!!
I really impressed with mr JK, he is a smart guy you know..
he answered every answer really well..
on the other side, I'm really not impressed with Hatta..
because, yeah, besides we all know his scandal when he covered the accident caused by his son that took many people's into death..
the other thing, he has a corruption scandal due to many reliable sources..
the other reliable media in Indonesia said that he is a cunning guy..
he always has a way to avoid cases that maybe could caused him as the bad guy and ended in jail..

I'm not saying this because I'm not into him..
but..
according to many reliable media sources such as national newspaper, and according to what I've watched during the debate too..
So, in the 2nd or 3rd round, each candidate could ask a question to one another and it would be answered by one another..

JK asked Hatta "When you were one of the minister during -I forget in what year- could you explain why we still had to import rice from the other country while you said, we, Indonesia, already invent alpha seeds that could supply rice for our own people?"
and you know what Hatta answered?? 
"We supply it for expats in Indonesia.."
mind you, mr Hatta, but.. could I ask you openly
the expats we talked in here mostly is bule, western people okay??
how many expats in Indonesia that we have to supply????? in Indonesia we have that oh so many expats??????
and second one, and the most important, the expats really LOVE to eat rice huh?? so that our rice stocks are not enough???
like really????? DUDE come on!!

I'm not a genius in politic, but I know it's a huge fat lie..
I never so concerned about president election like before..
but, I learn, it's for my country's fate for the next 5 years..
as the minority, well Chinese decent- in Indonesia, we need someone like Alm. Gusdur..
who could understand and accept us like the majority..
I think and I'm pretty sure feel Jokowi-JK is the best choice..
I'm not getting paid for saying this.. but, that's the truth..
Jokowi according to Fortune magazine, is in 1 of the 50 world's top leader list..
many people mock him as the tacky, countrified leader..
mind you people, international admits that he is a good, for me great, leader..
who needs the leader based on the appearance only??
I dont need that, most people wont need that too..
all we need is the leader who has a great quality as the leader, and Jokowi has it!
other people will mock him too because his duty as the Jakarta governor hasn't finished yet..
hey, he becomes on of the president candidate because his party leader, Mrs. Megawati asks him to do that..
why Megawati asks him to do that, because many Indonesians believe he has the right quality as the leader of our nation..
many Indonesians ask Megawati to push him as one of the president candidates..
Megawati said, "You people -Indonesians- ask this tiny man, Jokowi, to become your president.. Here I gave you, choose him because you already asked for him.."

End of my politic post..
Sorry it's maybe boring..
Vote for your country's fate please, Indonesians!!!!
Stop being so ignorant when you have power to decide your country's fate..
And if you choose for being an ignorant, don't say any words if your country's fate is going worse..

I Did It For A Thigh Gap

Apparently, asking for a thigh gap needs more efforts than i thought..

Hahahahaha

Gudlor, God knows how bad I want a thigh gap..

So if I wear skinny jeans it will look good..

I don't ask for a bombshell body like Victoria's Secret Angels, I just ask for a thigh gap..

And wish me luck, during holiday, I can have it..

so, me and some friends who already graduated, no I ain't graduated yet, are preparing for our 2010-2014 class' prom..

and we decided to buy Bikini Body Workout by Kayla Itsines..

it costs AUD 69..

yes, kinda expensive.. but since all six of us split the bill, it's not that expensive but still costs quite much money in my monthly rate.. hahahaha

day 1 and day 2, thank God I did them!!

day 1 I practice what I read from the book, and day 2 get some LISS by walking around neighborhood at 6am..

yesterday, when I just got started, in the first 7 minutes of circuit 1, I almost lose my breath..

judge me, but workout is not my specialty..

I sweat like crazy.. if people said sweat is fat crying, then my fat is sobbing uncontrollably yesterday..

LOL..

True story this morning, I kinda want to go back to sleep when my alarm hit 6am..

but, Eric Thomas' voice was like echoing in my head..

'You just kinda want it, but how if you want it as bad as you want to breath, then you will be successful.. Some of you said, you want to get some sleep, then you want to sleep more than what you want.. Sleeping is only for beggars'

And I was just like, OKAY, ERIC!! I GET UP NOW!!! GEEZ!!!

hahahaha..

yes, and now, my butt and my thigh especially feel really HURT like shit!!

hahahahah

but I'm kinda happy, yet can't stand for it ==!..

Top 5 Songs In My Current Playlist

1. Not A Bad Thing - Justin Timberlake

Instant major LOVE!!!

2. Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding

love the beat, love the lyrics, love everything with Ellie Goulding..

I must watch Divergent..

the main guy character got my heart with his perfect handsome look..

3. Hold On We're Going Home - ASTR (cover)

Sooo good!! Eargasm.. 

4. Love Never Felt So Good - Michael Jackson ft Justin Timberlake

Remake, and LOVE this one too..

5. Problem - Ariana Grande ft Iggy Azalea

What a perfect combo to upbeat song from Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea

I like Iggy's rap, beibiii..

7 Reasons Why Justin Timberlake Is A Drop Panties Guy

1. He suit up properly!
I don't know you girls, but for me, Man in proper black suit will always be my kryptonite..
okay, not all men in this world maybe can make it as JT does..
but, for me, I love man who can dress tidy and formal.. and also, men in suit presents masculinity..
the black tie, black suit, golden tie clip, cufflinks, and the shirt behind that nice -expensive- suit just.. oh God!!! I literally do mouth watering!

2. He has that sexy back, and also sexy moves
Since he is the member of Nsync, he is the best dancer among the other members IMO.
and in his 33, he still has that moves, ladies!!
In Mirror and TKO MVs, are the best dance performs of him lately..
no, not just in those 2 MVs, but in every MVs!!!!!

3. He has sexy voice
No need to explain if you already hear his songs..
If you haven't heard any of his song, SHAME ON YOU!!
Where did you live after all this time?? 
You should get your ass in front of your laptop, open Youtube, 
and search Justin Timberlake in the search box, like NOW!!!!
but, I doubt you haven't heard any of his song..
either you are lying, you are stupid hipsters, or you live in other galaxy..

4. Another nice sideburns and subtle beard
Again, only JT can put this look become oh so sexy!!
His sideburns are just so manly in his masculine jaws..
And the subtle beard?? I rarely love man in beard or moustache because mostly it will look dirty and horrible.
But as long as a guy can nailed subtle beard like the way JT did, he is 100% guaranteed can have me in the first place..
hahahaha

5. He has that ONE MILLION WATT smile
Yes!! I LOVE the way his smile.. 
In one same time, you can look his sexy badass side, and.. the nice next door guy.
So, while you introduce him to your big family, they will give you approved seal..
and after you back home with him, you can have that wild sexy badass god!!
what a lucky Biel!!!!

6. He loves his mother
In many occasions, and including red carpet, you will see he came with his mom..
held her hands, and took photos together..
They have strong bond I guess..
and his mother is known as one of his biggest fans..
Recently, Justin Timberlake gave his mama a shout-out, too, tweeting, "#HappyMothersDay to Janet Lynn... You're the greatest leader and I'm so proud to be your son. I love you so much, Momma!! J" 
what a sweet guy!!

7. He has GREAT music team
JT now known always had a performance with GREAT music team, Tennessee Kids..
whether in shows, MV, and concert, Tennessee Kids always with him and together they really nailed every performance!
Tennessee Kids also dress very well, in black suits.. perfect team with JT as the front man!

Nobody Realizes That Some People Expend TREMENDOUS ENERGY Merely To Be NORMAL

Some people said, every girls were the same..
there was no difference amongst them..
Some people said, there was bullshit if a girl said, 'I'm not like the other girls..'
while the other said, yes, 'This girl is one of a kind, she is different'
Me??
I said, girls are same at some points, but yes.. we of course are different..
maybe guys will say, girls are same.. they demand a lot of attention, wanna treated like a princess, and bla bla bla bla..
but, no.. we are different!
at least, I am different or, a very minimum quantity girls in this planet are like me too..
I am totally different..
same genus with girls, but from another species, another planet, another galaxy I guess..
why??
while the other girls are so easy to open their heart even after 2 years relationship with their ex, I find myself is so goddamn difficult to give a guy to step in a little bit in my life..
while the other girls are so easy peasy find relationship and get deeper into it, I find myself is really difficult to have one..
while other girls are so damn good in playing hide and seek with guys, I find myself just can't hide, okay.. I'm emotionally slutty..
while the other girls are so easy to curb their energic personality in front of opposite sex in the first date, I find myself very casually and usually act like complete random moron, just like myself in front of my besties..
my biggest problem -or not problem, I guess- is.. I reveal my-complete random and moron-self too soon..
in what minute you ask?? in 1 second after I meet that guy in first date.
I act so random.. talking nothing important? -well, it was first date!!-
and.. there was nothing mysterious about me..
any people can know me as the bubbly, loud, chirpy, happy personality..

my friends always suggest me to take myself slowly.. be mysterious.. be quiet.. be shy.. be like a TRULY GIRL -I am truly girl though, you know-
She suggested me not to reveal my happy loud personality..
God knows, I was trying..
like.. really trying.. so hard.. so bad..
and it was end up for me as the boring very normal girl..
as Bryanboy posted in Instagram "Nobody realizes that some people expend TREMENDOUS ENERGY merely to be NORMAL."
hell, yes!!
I spend tremendous energy and emotions during the whole time in the first date..
Acted like quiet, shy girl, like what my girl friend suggested..
I did that.. and it was really awkward..
maybe some people will agree with her..
but for me, who already tried it and was so not me, I WILL COMPLETELY REFUSE THAT ADVICE NEXT TIME..
maybe some people will say too, silence is ok..
for me, IT WAS SO NOT OKAY.. it was so so so AWKWARD..
imagine my conversation in the car when that guy picked me up..
G (Guy) : Hey, nice to meet you :)
M (Me) : Nice to meet you too..
G: What you doin before I come??
M: Cleaning my apartment, and taking long shower :).. you??
G: What a diligent girl.. hehe.. Me?? just get home from my busy routine, and relax, play video game..
M: Oh, okay.. (try to be quiet, shy, normal, very feminine girl).. er.. what kind of video game??
G: You know, GTA, and Fast and Furious..
M: (in my mind => "WOW!! I know GTA! sometimes I played it with my older brother when we were younger.. how is that game now?? getting better?? and FF?? I watch the movie, but not play the game.. Maybe I will try to play it next time.. Hey, if you want to play, I can join you, if I may..")
BUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
my friend suggested me to curb my enthusiasm and be quiet and shy, normal girl, who MAYBE, MOSTLY not interested in guys' video game activity, so there was me.. sat quietly and NODDED okay..
what the heck.. it was stupid awkward silence..
okay, maybe I shouldn't add the last sentence that ask if I can join him playing video game..
I am very conscious, that girl needs to play a little bit hard to get..
but it is really different between play hard to get and being someone who is really not yourself, dont you think??
while the other means, try not to be too available and show your interest much in a guy, and maybe..chasing him like some crazy desperate cheesy bitch, BUT STILL BE YOUR COMPLETE SELF..
the other means don't show any interest, don't show your true identity, don't act like you usually behave in front of your very besties, show him that you are mysterious, let him take in charge of everything, from find a topic until.. everything??

then, I got some revelations..
from http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2013/08/guys-only-want-the-shy-pretty-girls/
It's written by Chelsea Fagan..
oh, I love her so much..
her writing give me some light..
that it is okay to be your loud funny crazy -in a good way- self..
if many guys who were of course not your SO in future, they of course wont accept you for being your loud funny crazy -in a good way- self..
but, one day, in the end..
you will find someone who knows you for the real you and still find you attractive with those kind of personality..
even more, they will love you more and more because of those..

PS: my other favorite writers in Thought Catalog is Christopher Hudspeth and Zaron Burnett III :)

One, Two, Three

Quick post after visited art exhibition by EmTe, a.k.a Moh. Taufiq..
Nice nice niceee arts!

Btw.. I just shared my mom's crazy experiences with my friends..
And,..

One thing for sure.. my mom is a SUPERHERO!!
For the braveness, and the logic sense brain, and her ability in almost everything..
I love you beyond this Milky Way, momma!!

Two prays for her, that when I grown up and success, I will make her and my dad happy for the rest of their lives, and.. when the time comes to back to Father, they will end up in heaven with Him ♥

Three words for you again mom, I Love You!
(Even I never said that eyes to eyes)

Inside North Korea Documentary Youtube Video

So here are my questions to North Koreans if I can ask them, mostly youths / teenagers around my age..

1. If you said and kinda, not kinda but really hate western people, Americans as they described, why the hell you guys learn how to speak English?? WHY?? and based on what I read in Wikipedia, one of their great leader was a fans of Elvis Presley.. He is American you know!!

2. If it is really a goddamn GREAT country, why you guys seems to live in 80s??
Lack of electricity, and I guess limited internet.. OR.. OR.. they don't have it or know about it at all.. now is 2000 century peopleeeee.. 
From what I see, almost every buildings in there are POOR!! yes, poor!! 
The metro station is like terrifying train tunnels.. yes, you guys have this colorful lamps on the ceiling for almost every metro station, but in low watt quality.. come on.. don't you guys just feel the creepy aura?? Oh, and I guess there is no malls..

3. If there was no malls, how you guys can find great beauty products?? such as VS, MAC, Benefit, The Balm-cute packaging!-, ABH, Bobbi Brown.. HOW??????????????
The other stuffs, good fashion brands, such as Gucci, Fendi, Prada, LV?????
SO DAMN SAD BEING A GROWN UP LADIES in there IMHO..
Only a very rich or very important family from government can have a privileges more than civilized people in there..
You guys have to see how they dressed.. If it wasn't uniform, it might be traditional clothes.. While their first lady from any photos you can see now in internet, showed, she dressed in Chanel!! yes, CHANEL modern suit!!!!

3. How great is the brainwashed technique that their leaders use to them??
Until almost NK people bound to them with complete loyalty..
I mean, can you imagine your whole life being dictated and forbidden by the government..
In my assumptions too, they don't have good musics, good TV dramas like their neighbor -South Korea- has, no access to GREAT tv cable -HBO, Fox Movies, Star World, AFC, etc- .. You can't have fun too much and you still seems like enjoy it,
like "it's okay that I can't express my happy emotions, cause it's forbidden by my state and my governments.. no it's not forbidden, but, it will make them upset if I don't obey one of their GREAT movements, I don't wanna let my state and governments down and dissapointed on me.."
Based on what I just watched, your excitement for little thing like karaoke is so limited.. You couldn't being crazy, loose yourself as what we did when we have karaoke.. And it's just for little thing.. 
The most craziest part of this brainwashed system is..
3a. HOW NK people seems to love and enjoy it??
They do their very best to pleased their leader.. anything.. like..
one leader like huge spectacle show.. so they made it.. the very biggest spectacle show at the stadium in NK, 120.000 people doing simultaneous pantomime..
PS: The show is quite amazing though.. can you imagine perimeter advertising boards on stadium?? but the size of this one is a whole seats in the stadium.. The pictures on that shown manually by humans not, electronic one.. But still it was a little bit awkward and weird??
Next leader like to see acrobatic or broadway show, I forgot.. and they practice their very best show acts to be presented in front of him.. good lorrrr..

4. How could you stand in this modern century for "what you -NK people- say AWESOME"??
Awesome here such as,..
.... Those "AWESOME LIBRARY TABLES" invention, which are invented by their leader..
So, I try describe this "AWESOME LIBRARY TABLES" inventions in here, in words..
It's like.. hospital bed, where you can set the high of the bed.. but.. hospital bed now is more AWESOME I guess, cause it's operated either by automatic remote or buttons..
While this "AWESOME LIBRARY TABLES" are operated by manual, by black medium screw..
.... Best School in the country which is for me it's a perfect set for 1940-1950s high school romance movies..
The uniform, is so.. oh, just skip it..
With computer library using 90's windows PC.. yes, with it's thick screen!!
The students there apparently handpicked by government or the country..
So, they learn, they give their best skills and efforts for country, country, country, and country ONLY..
No freedom at all!! At any conditions.. How if you wanted to play pop music on your piano, but.. your leader like traditional music better??
The only freedom they have I guess just for being alive or die..but that's still questionable though..
Imagine if you try to show lack of love and respects for your country, JAIL.. or could be worse, DEATH..

5. Do you guys, North Korean civilized people, know any type of musics or songs other than your traditional musics/songs?? 
Jazz maybe?? or Pop?? or Rock?? or Blues??
DON'T KNOW?? OF COURSE NOT!!
In the karaoke place, it's only contained MOSTLY with traditional songs, with again, people in their traditional clothes as the MV actresses or actors *really sad face now*
Okay, maybe not almost of NK people don't know other music types or movies out there, cause based on my chit-chat long time ago with my South Korean friends, little parts of NK people, who are maybe updated enough with outside world and miraculously could, do watch drama produced by SK or another countries..

6. I guess this is my last question, Do you ever guys, ever feel there is/ are something wrong with your state, and your governments?? and maybe questioned for the rationality of other people around you for being so loyal and abide to your country and governments..

For now, for me and the director from that video "Inside North Korea" on Youtube agree..
for how great brainwashed system in there made by their governments..
how it's more like doing time travel to early ninety-s country..
how I am grateful for being Indonesian and not North Korean..
how I am truly blessed born in good situation and conditions country.. even sometimes this motherland can be like shit..
can you imagine if you were a child born on North Korea by civilized family-not the powerful family- , and grew in there with mind "I WANNA GO OUT FROM THIS COUNTRY AND IT'S MADNESS!!!" but you just couldn't..